By Jenny Gould, Jan 15 2014 4:23PM
"Your time is limited; so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."
By Jenny Gould, Dec 30 2013 1:25PM
How does hypnosis work? Here's a free ebook by Mark Tyrrell which I think you will find interesting:
By Jenny Gould, Dec 9 2013 9:52PM
1. Try to work out why you aren’t sleeping. Then resolve to make the necessary changes.
2. Don’t work late in the evening – too much thinking will prevent you from sleeping.
3. Keep a regular time for going to sleep and getting up, even at weekends.
4. The bedroom is only for sleeping, ‘easy’ reading and lovemaking. No computers, no work, no food. The jury is out on the TV!
5. Regular exercise helps with sleep but not too close to bedtime, 4-6 hours before is best.
6. Have a nice warm bath about an hour before you go to bed – as the body cools down it recognises that as a signal for sleep.
7. Avoid stimulants like alcohol, coffee, cigarettes.
8. Don’t eat a meal late in the evening, but a light snack before bed sometimes helps.
9. Ensure your bedroom isn’t too warm, too light or too noisy. It’s important that your feet are warm.
10. Have a bedtime routine of quiet, calming activities.
11. Do some progressive relaxation – ie going all the way up (or down) your body, tensing, stretching and relaxing the muscles.
12. Don’t try! The more you try, the more sleep will elude you. Instead go on an internal journey – anywhere your imagination cares to wander.
13. Some people find it helps to breathe in a deep steady rhythm similar to the breathing pattern that naturally occurs as we fall asleep.
14. Don’t lie down in bed until you feel sleepy.
15. If you don’t fall asleep within 30 mins or so, get out of bed, go into another room and do something calming until you are sleepy enough to go back to bed.
16. If you wake up in the night, best not to look at your clock. All it does is make you fret about how many hours are left before you have to get up!
17. Sleep just long enough – not too much.
By Jenny Gould, Jun 19 2013 3:00AM
British teenage girls struggling to control hormones argue with their mothers 183 times a year. Statistics show they also slam 164 doors, have 257 fights with siblings and fall out with their friends 127 times a year. Figures also stated that the girl only fully appreciates her mother’s efforts when she turns 23.
By Jenny Gould, Jun 18 2013 9:56AM
Aggression in school-age children may have its origins in children 3 years old and younger who witnessed violence between their mothers and partners, according to a new Case Western Reserve University study.
By Jenny Gould, Jun 14 2013 10:44AMRead more...
By Jenny Gould, Jun 3 2013 4:29PM
We all know how it feels don’t we? Breaking up after a serious relationship is painful for both sides, but if you’re the one who has been left it can feel devastating. Everyone around you suddenly seems to be blissfully happy, a constant reminder of your own situation, leaving you feeling isolated and alone.
It’s no wonder then that so many of us stay in unhappy relationships - things feel all wrong and yet we can’t face the pain of leaving. You could call it the comfort of discomfort!
But once it’s happened then we have to deal with it and the only way through it, is through it. Here are my top tips for surviving a ‘broken heart’:
•First of all don’t think in terms of ‘heartbreak’. The language we use, whether it is what we say or what we think is so powerful. So use more realistic, less emotionally charged words to describe what’s happened. The relationship ended – full stop. When you think in highly emotive terms you over-sentimentalise the situation and re-enforce the pain.
•Are you seeing yourself as a victim? However hard we try we can’t control what others do – we can’t change people and we can’t make things how we want them to be. What has happened doesn’t mean that you are ‘less than’ in some way . These things happen to us all, so however hard, accept that it doesn’t mean anything at all about you. It doesn’t make you unlovable, unattractive, boring... or flawed in some way. It’s just life, you’re just human - and perhaps it’s for the best, who knows?
•Learn from what happened. Stand back and ask yourself what happened. If you were an observer, what would you see? Did you ignore the warning signs? Did you communicate your needs and feelings? What was your part in the breakdown of the relationship? It’s almost certainly not black and white, so think about what you could perhaps have done differently that might have helped. Do you try to please others but in doing so not get your own needs met? Is there a pattern in your relationships? Do you go for the same type each time? This your opportunity to take a long hard look at who you really are, what you want and need.
•Learn to forgive – yourself and/or your ex-partner. You’re likely to be feeling a mixture of strong emotions in the beginning. This is part of the grieving process –shock, anger, bitterness, fear, guilt, sadness are all natural and normal, and you will probably find yourself feeling very up and down for a while, but take care not to let negativity eat away at you. The way you think will have a powerful influence on how you feel, so be aware of what messages you’re giving yourself. It may be that you would benefit from some therapy in order to help you make sense of your feelings, to feel more optimistic and find your way forward.
•If your partner has left you for someone else this is especially painful. It has the power to destroy your self-esteem in one clean blow. Initially anger feels justified and can seem to help the pain, however quite quickly it can become an unhealthy habit. So watch what you’re thinking – don’t torture yourself imagining what they’re doing together. Don’t focus your negative feelings on the other person, after all you can’t blame them for what your partner did of his or her own accord. Instead direct your attention to yourself and what you can control.
•Take time for you. Whatever you do don’t rush headlong into a new relationship for fear of being alone. Do new things, go to new places, see people, learn new skills, take up a new hobby or pick up an old one again. Invest time in relationships with your family and friends. It may be that you’ve forgotten how to open up and accept help but support from others really makes a huge difference to how we cope! Very often the end of a relationship, so painful at the time, allows us to mature and grow in confidence, to become more fully ourselves. So work on developing your confidence ‘muscle’ and you will find yourself gaining in strength and feeling more positive.
•If you have children of course this makes the break-up so much more complicated in every way. Emotions, finances, practicalities all need careful navigation. The children must be your prime concern, often very difficult when you are in pain. This is where you will need all the support you can get. So make sure you get it. There are many organisations that can be of help to you. Talk to others who have been through this, join forums, groups, try mediation to help sort out the practicalities regarding the children and finances.
•Remember you are not alone. At the same time as it is happening to you, many others are going through the same difficulties. Right now it might seem a long way off but time heals that much is true. You are stronger than you think and you will come out the other side, stronger and wiser.
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