The lead up to the exams

-Leave plenty of time for revision. You’ll increase your self-confidence and

  avoid the stress of last minute cramming.

-Study where you study best. Create a pleasant work space and leave it tidy –

  it’ll encourage you to get started next time.

-Find a routine that works for you.

-Plan your work, make a list, prioritise, and then work on the most important first.

  Break it down into small steps. Tick off each step.

-Make separate folders for each class, or coursework project. Perhaps colour

  code your subjects.

-Focus, focus, focus! Don’t allow yourself to be easily distracted. Remember

 you’re in the driving seat of your life! Take control!

-Revise with friends – test each other.

-Focus on starting – say “I’ll just…” Get used to getting down to work.

-Pace yourself – plan your revision so you have time for fun and relaxation too.

  If you push too hard you’ll suffer and be less effective.

-Take regular breaks. You’ll be more productive, have more energy and better

  concentration.

-Reward yourself – promise yourself a treat when you’ve completed a certain

 piece of work/revision, eg watch a TV programme, have a relaxing hot bath….

-Deal with problems. What’s the problem exactly? Need to ask someone? Don’t

waste time and energy worrying – do something about it!

-Accept that the work has to be done and decide to tackle it head on.

-Don’t bottle things up.Talk to your friends/parents/anyone about your

 problems. It will really help!!

-Don’t compare yourself with others - you’re on a hiding to nothing if you do.

-Thoughts and feelings are just passing through – don’t get swept away by

  them. Calmly accept them – they are not you!!

-Learn relaxation techniques (….close your eyes, breathe deeply, imagine

  tension melting away, every time breath out, feel more and more relaxed…)

-Exercise – the hormones it releases reduce stress and make you feel good!

-Ensure a good sleep routine – warm bath, oils, candles. And don’t worry if you can’t sleep – you’ll cope!

-Remember - there is life after exams!!!

The Exams Themselves

 -Go for a quick walk before the exam, it’ll make you feel less nervous.

 -Arrive with time to spare' don’t risk being late and feeling even more

 stressed!

-Believe in yourself - think like a winner. Remember, no-one can know it all!

 -If your mind goes blank, don’t panic!! Take time to read the questions. There's no rush.

-Use slow 'circular' deep breathing (often panic attacks are triggered by hyperventilation, i.e. over-breathing). Consciously relax your shoulders every time you breathe out.

-Remember everyone will be feeling pretty much like you – even though you’re convinced they all know more than you do!!

-Give yourself a good talking to. Think 'strong' thoughts - ‘I can do this, ‘It’ll be fine’

Most of all keep things in perspective. It’s not the end of the world if it doesn’t go well. You can always retake them!

For Parents

-Watch for symptoms of stress: change in behaviour, sleep problems, stomach, headaches, nightmares - eating, smoking, drugs

-Take pressure off - cut some slack re chores, priorities, moodiness.

-Offer support, talk gently eg “I can see you’re upset/angry ” (DON’T say ‘snap out of it!’) Walk and talk together – break down problems.

- Praise effort not achievement, otherwise kids can grow up believing that your approval depends on them

being successful.

-Encourage to seek help if concerned – it’s a strength not a weakness.

-Don’t project your own anxiety and frustrations about the outcome onto your child! Deal with your own anxiety – otherwise that makes everything worse.

-Be calm, reassuring…keep everything in perspective – academic achievement is not the only path to success!!!

-It’s your relationship that matters – reassure them you are there for them whatever happens.

We coaches talk a lot about finding out what you really want in life, overcoming obstacles, focusing on your goals etc - and quite rightly so. But it's easy to we forget to appreciate what we have. In our media driven world we are often tempted to think that the prefect life is there for the taking, if we can just keep on looking.

Why is it that everyone else seems to have more fun, more money, a better love life, less worries, or more self-confidence. But do they? Deep down we know that life is rarely, if ever 'perfect' - and if it were then wouldn't that soon become predictable, boring and rather shallow? Life will always have its ups and downs, whoever you are, wherever you live, however much money you have, however beautiful or talented you are, and whichever period of history you lived in!

We may have less disease, less pain, more of the basic necessities in life than say in the 18th century, but there will always be difficult periods and challenges for each one of us. So when find yourself going through a tough time - remember you're not alone - we all have them! And think about this - you almost certainly have more to be grateful for than you realise! So how about counting your blessings occasionally?

How's this for a review ?!!

"I read your book on bookboon.com and have found it incredible. I am a perfectionist (scoring 49,54 and 62 on your tests) and now that i have seen this (my wife has been telling me for years but i was no good with criticism) i can get on with changing my ways. I already feel a huge sense of relief just knowing that i can change and cannot thank you enough for this, i would send money if i had any (that comes next). i am going to send this now without checking every detail. Regards, Nicholas Hopwood."

My book is avialable to download free here http://bookboon.com/en/business-ebooks/personal-development/overcoming-perfectionism.

Stress affects each of us differently, depending on our personality, background and experiences in life, and because we are all unique individuals the symptoms will vary – some will have more physical signs (e.g. headaches, back ache), others more emotional signs (e.g. easily upset, anxious) and others may have a predominance of behavioural symptoms (e.g. shouting, drinking too much). In my experience from working with stressed individuals, those suffering high levels of stress will be able to identify with many of the following signs and symptoms:

Physical Symptoms:

• Palpitations

• Pain & tightness in the chest

• Indigestion

• Breathlessness

• Nausea

• Tense shoulders, neck

• Tiredness

• Vague aches and pains

• Skin irritations/rashes

• Susceptibility to allergies

• Clenched jaw or fists

• Fainting

• Frequent colds or other infections

• Constipation or diarrhoea

• Rapid weight loss or gain

• Changes in menstrual cycle

Emotional Symptoms:

• Mood swings

• Increased worrying

• Feeling tense

• Drained, no enthusiasm

• Feeling angry

• Feeling guilty

• Feeling cynical

• Nervous, apprehensive, anxious

• Feeling helpless

• Loss of confidence

• Lack of self-esteem

• Unable to concentrate

• Withdrawal into daydreams

Behavioural Symptoms:

• Accident proneness

• Poor work

• Increased smoking

• Increased drinking of alcohol

• Increased dependence on drugs

• Overeating or loss of appetite

• Change in sleep pattern, difficulty sleeping, waking up tired.

• Loss of sex drive

• Poor time management

• Withdrawal from relationships

• Irritability

• Working longer hours, taking work home more often.

• Unable to relax

• Not looking after oneself

So how many of those signs have you experienced in the past month say, and which of the categories do your symptoms mainly fall into? It can also be helpful to try to identify your early warning signs. For example do you notice your shoulders getting tense, feel anxious, or find yourself losing your temper? The key to dealing with stress is to catch it early. At regular intervals throughout the day, take a moment to scan your body for signs of tension. That way you can take some action to prevent it from building up – you can take back control before it escalates.

I’ll be giving you lots of ideas for reducing stress later on.

My first book now published on-line! Download your copy free...enjoy!

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fbookboon.com%2Fen%2Fbusiness%2Fpersonal-development%2Fovercoming-perfectionism&h=_AQFMkTogAQGQwQ57rzKaY1Ee_0AmbjE_OaEZIDlWHcq9ew

We live in a world where the pace of life is phenomenal. We have to work harder, faster, more efficiently, longer hours and with less job security than ever before. This environment is a very difficult one for the perfectionist, who is driven not so much by the desire for success, but by the fear of failure and need for control. They have unrealistic expectations of themselves (possibly others too) and feel they can never achieve enough and never be good enough. They feel unable to bask in the pleasure of achievement or really enjoy their relationships.

I hope this book will give you a real insight into the subject, and help you understand yourself and others better. You will learn how to think differently and how to behave differently. With this increased self-awareness, a real desire to change and some tools to help you, you can overcome crippling perfectionism.

A man found a cocoon for a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared – he sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through the little hole… Then it seemed to stop making progress and stopped. It appeared stuck. The man decided to help the butterfly and with a pair of scissors he cut open the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily, but something was strange. The butterfly had a swollen body and shrivelled wings. The man watched it expecting it to take on its correct proportions, but nothing changed. The butterfly stayed the same – it was never able to fly.

In his kindness and haste the man did not realise that the butterfly’s struggle to get through the small opening of the cocoon is nature’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight.

Like the sapling that grows strong from being buffeted by the wind, in life we all need to struggle sometimes to make us strong….

(Ack. Paul Matthews)